Painting

I closed on the house June 17th and started painting Piper's room on the 24th. My mom and Holly came over to help me. The room was John Deere green with crayon marks on the ceiling, so we had to do the ceiling and all the walls. Thankfully my parents and my friend Sarah had a ton of painting stuff that I was able to borrow so I didn't have to buy everything! So nice!!!

Piper chose the color....bright blue. I was a little hesitant b/c you never know how it will really look on the walls and once the whole room is done. It actually looks better than I thought!

and she found the perfect picture from Hobby Lobby, that she insisted she HAD TO HAVE for her bedroom. How could I refuse?? :)

The problem with Piper is that she is messy and not very organized. Presley had tried to help her get unpacked...and even a month later we are still struggling to get her fully unpacked. So that is our goal this weekend! Fingers crossed!

HIMPS

Himps or home improvements....buying a townhouse that is 22 years old and not having ALL the money or experience in the world means I'm learning to DIY! I really never thought I could be handy but never had a reason to try to be either. So I'm doing a lot, learning a lot and spending a lot. But I'm proud of my accomplishments no matter how big or small. 

My (our) first project was to update a dresser my parents had for Presley to use. It was old. With many layers of paint but we did pretty good, I think.

 A little paint and some upgraded knobs and it looks almost like new! :)

Quotes

I love quotes...whether they apply to me right now, in the past, or possibly in the future. If they might apply to my kids, family, friends.... I try to keep track of them all, even if it is my own child who said it, from a book or someone famous! Here are some of my favs. I will not take any credit for any of these!

I was talking about voting this year and Piper said 'I want to vote for Abe Lincoln because he didn't let people buy other people" Rock on child, you understand!

How do we understand crazy if we don't know how they think?

Because you are always hurt the most by the people you love.

That was love for you. Never simple and definitely not for the weak hearted.

We act if everything is the same as it's always been, but I suppose that's life. We spend a large majority of it telling everyone else we're perfectly fine, even when the opposite is true.

Life is full of interruptions and complications.

We were watching Soul Surfer, about the surfer girl who loses her arm to a shark but still wants to surf afterwards b/c she loves it so much.  Piper said 'If I got attacked by a piece of bacon, I will never eat bacon again!'

The trouble is, you learn more and more about less and less until you know everything about nothing.

Because once you become a parent, you lean that love can involve more fear than you had ever imagined and you never quite look on the world in the same way again.

Rant

As I said before I have been off of Facebook for almost 3 weeks. I just feel there are too many things that irritate me, make me feel like crap, make me roll my eyes and it is SO hard to NOT respond to it all, so this is my rant.

- COVID19....Everyone has all the answers. Everyone knows what is best. BLAH BLAH BLAH. How about everyone just worry about themselves? Yes, it is hard to see kids playing with other kids when you won't allow your kids to play....but just be happy, in knowing that you are doing what is right. Yes, it sucks that not everyone will follow the rules but let's be real, did we really think that everyone would?

- I don't understand why people feel the need to tell their significant others how much the love them and such on FB......all the time...... when they are probably sitting on the other side of the couch from them. Are you trying to prove to everyone else that you are happy? Are you trying to hide how you really feel by constantly trying to repeat yourself over and over again? Just look at the other person and tell them! I don't get it.

- My 11 year old is getting boobs. She mostly wears athletic wear with sweatshirts so she has been mostly 'hidden' until now but man, I don't want to deal with this nonsense. Especially with a pre-teen who is self conscious already.

- We just had Easter. Presley said something about the Easter bunny being the parents and then commented about Santa. I gave her a death stare to be quiet and said that we would talk later. She laughed and laughed....like an uncomfortable laugh b/c she realized she had called us out. I said very little to her. I told her she didn't have to believe but that Piper was 7 years old and she has to. I told her I didn't want to hear her say another word about it! She said she understood and that was the end of it....I have always told them, 'if you don't believe, you don't receive' :) 

School

So school is canceled for the rest of the year. I honestly don't even know how to deal with that.

I am not a teacher. I don't have the patience. I have to work. I can't do it. The last 4 weeks have been rough with me working from home and since Steve is still working they are with me every day. I have a minimum of 2 conference calls a day and sometimes have up to 5 calls a day. Thankfully the girls are pretty good during these calls b/c they don't want to be heard on the other end, however this is all time that I cannot dedicate to helping them with school work. And I don't. We have no schedule, I'm not forcing them to do anything. They have some educational websites they can play on, I bought some Brain Quest workbooks off of Amazon, I have some print offs they can work on....but I have no standards or expectations. And I can't care and I'm trying NOT to feel bad about it.

I got off of FB almost 3 weeks ago b/c I can't deal with the moms out there who seem to have it under control with schedules and fun days planned for learning. I don't need social media to make me feel any worse about myself than I do.

I think both girls are excited to NOT have school but definitely miss the structure and schedule. Presley has had minimal contact with her friends and doesn't really seem to care. Piper can be a little social butterfly on Messenger with some of her friends.
I'm sad for Presley being the last year of elementary school. Missing out of the 5th grade celebration stuff, middle school tours and information. I know she doesn't know any different so I try not to bring it up but I'm still disappointed for her.

The girls fight so much. They are so mean and snotty to each other and to me and being in this apartment doesn't help. I don't feel comfortable with them being outside without me (They wouldn't really want to anyways and I'm working) so they get cooped up with me inside most of the day. We try to get outside over lunch and after work but that is only when the weather cooperates.
I'm pretty sure the cops will be called with the amount of door slamming, jumping, running, screaming and crying that go on. I will be buying the couple below us a card to apologize for the chaos they probably hear all the time.

Steve has been great in helping out when he can. On the days that he doesn't have a full day of work, he'll come and get them for a couple hours or picks them up early on his nights b/c he knows it is for the best for all of us that I get some time away to clear my head and have some quiet.

I think we are going to have our babysitter Lexis come and watch the girls every Wednesday so that it helps break up the week for all of us.

At this point I'm just hoping for a summer. Can we use the pool? Can the girls go to the park? Will Steve get to take the girls to Okoboji? Will we have my family reunion in Colorado? I have tickets to 3 concerts, will they all get canceled? I can't deal. I can't imagine. I just can't.

Send wine.

Recap

So recap of my life over the last 6 months....some of you know, some of you don't, some of you THINK you know.

Last October our lives as we knew it, came to a halt, pause, stutter....abrupt end.

So many things happened, so many things were said, so many things that are hard to come back from....but Steve and I filed for divorce. It was not easy, not what either of us had planned. I moved out the end of November and our divorce was final the beginning of February.

Steve and I have worked together rather well, actually. The way we worked the assets and $, he was able to refinance the house to keep in his name....we both wanted this for the girls and I knew that I would never be able to keep up with the upkeep on the house....can you imagine me mowing the yard?  I have an apartment near the school but hopefully will look to buy something this fall. Both of our lawyers agreed this was the easiest divorce they have processed b/c we didn't fight over anything and we had almost no debt to split.....the house and then we each took a car, nothing else.

We were able to spend Christmas and New Years together which was nice. We've had no arguments about holidays and honestly, I think we are just really doing what is best for the kids at this point. I have much lower patience with the kids b/c I think they they push me further....b/c isn't that was daughters do to mothers? Steve is willing to have us come to the house for a change of scenery when we are cooped up for too long in this small space or when the kids want to play outside with the neighbor kids (pre-coronavirus)

The girls are doing pretty good! We informed both teachers and the guidance counselor of the situation and they all have been so supportive. I think the girls have so many friends with divorced parents that it didn't really seem all that abnormal to them, which is really sad. Of course they have their moments and emotional breakdowns but I think they would have those anyways.

So we are living our new normal...it's not always pretty, it's not where we thought we would be a year ago...but we are here. We are working on everything day by day. It is hard to lose your best friend and then try to figure out where you stand in each others lives. So day by day is all we have.

Coronavirus = COVID19

I'm so over it...and not b/c I'm tired of my kids. I'm tired of the news and having that be the ONLY thing they talk about. Facebook is just loaded with crap. I can't read about the people who won't touch things in stores and take off their clothes are the door to wash then get in the shower when they get home.

I am not a germaphobe, never have been and probably never will be. Honestly, we are rarely sick so maybe we have built up an immunity to germs. Presley is definitely more aware of germs, she won't share straws, I can't touch her food and as much as I want to tell her how dirty our lives probably really are otherwise, I just try to accept it and let her be her.

I'm doing my part. I'm working from home. I'm social distancing but I really need to social media distance also. I have been to Hy-vee twice in the last week and picked up an order at Target today....and guess what? I didn't use hand sanitizer! My kids haven't played with anyone but each other and honestly, I'm not sure I would care if they did. But I'm trying to obey the rules.

The girls have been fairly decent over the last week. They were stuck with me in this apartment from Wednesday at 3:00 until Monday at 10:30.....I had a meltdown Thursday morning at 9:30. HA! There has been some definite fighting with all 3 of us girls in a cooped up space but we found things to do and kept busy for the most part. They do eat way too much and we go thru way too many dishes.

I'm not homeschooling. I know some schools/states are providing stuff and parents have these great schedules. I'm over it. Not happening. I'm doing little things to help 'teach' them. Presley has been doing a lot more in the kitchen these days which is nice. We played Monopoly and used the dice and money to add and subtract.....and then I made them say numbers in Spanish too! :) We have done a couple dice math games and they read one day out of the last 6. Parent fail?

Don't get me wrong, I understand the seriousness of this. Though I think we are dismissing other issues that are serious also but don't get as much screen time but whatever. I do worry about my parents even though I don't think they worry so much about themselves. I worry more about the economic impact on the world more than anything else. The worldwide impact and # of people that are 100% impacted and whose lives are turned upside down because of this are what I worry about more than anything.

I have seen people be SO much nicer and more giving and friendlier than normal and that is great! I have found myself doing more for others even though I might not fully have the money for it either. I have reached out to more friends during this time, maybe it is b/c I have more free time, but that is okay! I think it is all we can do to get thru all of this insanity together and hopefully we will come out stronger on the other side!